Friday, August 11, 2006

On the New Jersey Boardwalk...



SO...Here it is, every Friday from now on, I am going to have free-style Fridays. Free-Style Fridays... Is the day that I feature people in the real world that are wearing something that is totally wrong.

These three girls were on the NJ shore boardwalk at around 10pm, last week.

The girl on the left is making the biggest mistake of all, by matching her neon green underwear with her neon green shoes and having a white transparent dress. The underwear is also too tight and is probably cutting off her blood circulation from reaching to her head. How could she have done this better? Wedges are definitely in and she does have nice legs but she would have been better off with a neutral colored wedge for the Summer, I would select and oatmeal colored wedge; followed by a nice flowing dress in a non-transparent cotton fabric, in a nice sage color, since she likes green so much.

The girl in the middle has very tight shorts. You can see that her shorts are too tight and are squeezing her waist so much that her love handles are choking. She could have done this better by wearing shorts that are one size bigger.

The last girl has a disease called over-exposure. She is showing her back, her stomach and is showing her legs all at the same time. The little bit of clothes that she does have on are spandex and skin tight. Also, the shoes look like they are too small because her heels are over the edge of the shoe, and the shoe ties are all the way up to her knees. This is not sexy, it's trashy. To do this look better she would need an longer a-line skirt, you can do a skirt that is 7 inches above your knees without looking trashy. The top just needs to be worn properly. It looks like she folded in her shirt. To correct her shoe mistake, she must wear the proper shoe size and the ties of her shoes must only be extended at max 2 inches above her ankles.

You aren't too late...Ask me for any advice before your picture shows up here next Friday....

ENID P. "Dare to Dream"

6 comments:

FashionWhore said...

If I ever dress like that, just shoot me.

Frapp said...

Oh God please tell me you told them to put it away? Please inform the general public to only wear a belly-baring top if it's the nineties or that they have the washboard-stomach to pull it off. Otherwise just no.

Lady Apple said...

wow...this picture makes me cringe...first of all it looks hot and sweaty there. second of all those poor girls on the outside have successfully made themselves look like sluts and the poor girl in the middle....well, there is only one word for that muffintop. i wonder if people don't notice that they had to stop breathing just to be able to button their shorts!!! that should be your first clue not to wear that out! anyway, great blog!

Kine said...

Haha, that is so funny. The green underwar and the green shoes, what a looser. Funny post!

What's Haute said...

ahhh, jersey girls. what more can i say? :)

Anonymous said...

Sheeeeeet, I'd hollar. Those are my kind of chicas right thurr! Especially the one in the neon draws...Its like I've already made it to 2nd base...

By the way...I love freestyle fridays. Great addition!